Posted on by granellen

Entered a New Country

Tomorrow it will be 18 months since Steve died. Today’s reading in “Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief” by Martha Whitmore Hickman included these lines about grief, “I have entered a new country. I will be patient with myself. I will look for companions for the way.” When I read that, I thought maybe that is why I am here. I figuratively “entered a new country” the moment Steve passed. The Peace Corps (PC) opportunity allowed me to literally enter a new country to deal with my grief.

It is not exactly dealing with my grief. It is giving me the time and space to make a new life without Steve. Granted, I will leave this new life when my 2 years of service are over. For some reason, it is important to me to know that I can serve others, that I can make friends, that I can make a life without Steve and without my existing support of family, friends, and church at home. Of course, this is not true because I have the support of all my family, friends, and church. However, they are not here physically.

I have the support of my Namily, including PC and new friends in my community. I am building these relationships on my own. I was not introduced to them by Steve, they don’t know my family, I did not meet them at my friend’s house or at my church.

“I have entered a new country. I will be patient with myself. I will look for companions for the way.”

All for now with all my love

11 Replies to “Entered a New Country”

  2. You are loved by more than you know, Ellen. You have touched so many people in a positive way. Your experiences with the PC will carry you through and you will come back changed in positive ways just have you have done for others. Be well and know that so many of us love you and are rooting for you.

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  4. Hi,  Thinking of you today as all days. You are strong, you are wise and an educator to the core! You open OUR EYES to new perspectives. You inspire us all. Surely, this step into this new country was just right for you. With support and love from afar, Debby PS Please, for me, no more bug eating stories! ÷)

    Sent from Samsung tablet

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  7. I love reading your posts and this one especially. And this “new country” is such apt wording for the inward and outward journies you’re taking. I’m sure that one moves the other, maybe in tandem maybe not. Rich stuff. Thanks for sharing it with us, Ellen. Much love to you!

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